Is it right for leaders to interfere in the choice of marriage partners for those they lead?

A leader here refers to anyone with authority over another, for instance in the church, family or any other established structure.

Let’s examine a few facts and then reach a compromise.

Let’s go back to the story of creation and the first man Adam. When God entered the garden and asked Adam,

Have you eaten of the tree, of which I commanded you not to eat (Genesis 3:11)?

The man’s response was very interesting.

The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat” (Genesis 3:12).

Adam literarily blamed God for giving him that woman to be with him. It was like saying, had you not given me this woman, I’ll not be in such a mess like this.

Eve was no longer the “bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh”. She was no longer the darling and sweetie and baby…

He was like saying, ‘if I had had my say in this matter, it won’t be this one’.

If you were in God’s position, will you ever think of bringing someone home to your son even if just to see if he liked them?

Don’t get me wrong here. There is someone out there God will very much want you to marry. But he will never violate your will by forcing them on you.

He doesn’t want to get blamed when the boat hits a tide.

Does it mean God has left us to our own devices when it comes to marriage? I don’t think so.

  • He will create an opportunity for both of you to meet.
  • He’ll use various ways to suggest the person to you as a possible partner.
  • He will put that loving desire for that person in your heart; He’ll convict you about them.
  • If you say ‘no’ to that, He’ll not force you into it.

If you come crying years later that you missed the right person, He’ll still wipe the tears and bind the wounds. But that’s about all he can do at such a time.

  • So, dear leaders, I think we shouldn’t strongly interfere in such a sensitive domain in the life of individuals. Don’t go where angels fear to tread.
  • Give your opinion, suggest to them, and create an avenue where they can meet; but don’t push them into it.
  • Pray for it to work if you are absolutely sure they are meant for each other, but stay clear and let them work it out by themselves.

 

 

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